Friends, let
us learn to love our spouses. But remember this that “Love is hard work.
It is the hardest work I know of, work from which you are never entitled to
take a vacation.”
The epidemic
we are seeing in our society and increasing around the world is the
unwillingness to work at love. Life can be hard. Two sinful people in the most
intimate of unions can experience a stretch and strain in their relationship as
life hits from unexpected directions. Instead of enduring and growing through
the challenges, couples choose to leave and start over.
We believe
the best, ripest and most fruitful love is the love that weathers the storms.
Love that is hard work shows grace through each other’s failures and chooses to
work at love because it is a commitment made to one’s spouse.
Here are
three love areas described in the Bible that have direct application to our
marriages:
Love like
Jesus
Jesus
himself said to his followers, “As I have loved you, so you must love one
another.” (John 13:34) To love like Jesus means being proactive and choosing to
sacrifice to meet the deepest needs of another.
In the
context of marriage, what would it look like for you to be proactive in showing
love to your spouse? Put another way, what would they really enjoy—that is a
sacrifice for you—that only you can provide? A foot rub? A back rub? Prolonged
conversation? Going on errands together when you’d rather stay home? You get
the idea.
Love deeply
The apostle
Peter wrote, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a
multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8) The idea in the original language for loving
“deeply” means to love earnestly, or without ceasing.
Your love
for your spouse should be like a heat-seeking missile, locked on target and
focused on your mate. There should be no distraction, no wavering, no
deterrent.
To love like
this means to reject conflicting emotions and thoughts. To take each thought
captive and commit one’s self to one’s spouse regardless of conflicting
emotions or circumstances.
It is this
kind of love that can forgive and not hold your spouse’s sins of the past
against them. To love deeply is to choose to show grace and move forward in
life together. It is choosing to keep short accounts.
Love
actively
The apostle
John wrote: “…let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in
truth.” (1 John 3:18) To put it in today’s vernacular, “talk is cheap.”
Your love
for your spouse is to be lived out in the dailiness of life. A powerful key to
expressing love to your spouse is to show love based on their “love language.”
The five
love languages are: Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service, Touch, and Words of
Affirmation. If you don’t already know how your spouse likes to be loved—ask
them which of these five resonates with their heart. Then respond accordingly!
How have you
had to work hard on love in your marriage? Love IS hard work. And love is
REWARDING work. So work hard on love—as you build your marriage!
