From my heart to you my friends, as you enter the new year, you might be going through a hard time or frustrated maybe in your home, marriage or at work. Don’t lose hope put your trust in the Lord. it is only the Lord who can give us total peace. Look at these few promises as you enter the New Year. Surely He has borne our grief and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions; He was bruised for our iniquities. Isaiah 53:4-5 As the year winds down, perhaps you're glad to consign it to history. All the sorrows of the past twelve months are behind you. Perhaps you've faced tragedy this year like what I went through 5 months ago, or grief, or sorrow. Even if you haven't, you've probably had your share of frustrations. How wonderful to know we can relegate the past to the grace of the Lord Jesus! And the future? Our Lord not only bears our griefs and sorrows, He bears us up like a man carrying his son according to Deuteronomy 1:31. Psalm 28:9 says He bears us up forever. Isaiah 40:11 says He carries us like a shepherd carrying a lamb close to his heart. And listen to Isaiah 46:4: "Even to your old age, I am He, and even to gray hairs I will carry you!" Being the Man of Sorrows, He can bear both you and your burdens, even across the threshold of a new year. Cast all your care on Him. The eternal God is your refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms. As you enter the New Year, don’t be worried of troubled or afraid, just put all your anxiety in the hands of the Lord. May the Lord bless your new year 2013 as He brings a smile over your face in Jesus’ name. Be blessed and have the best, Your brother, Moses.

From Our Hearts To Yours.

Dear Partner What a glorious time of year this is! We stand at the point where we look back, over the past year with thankful hearts. We are so grateful to the Lord for what He has brought us through and all we have experienced together as partners in this ministry. At this wonderful time of year, we not only reflect on the goodness of God in the year gone by, but we look with great anticipation and excitement to the year ahead! 2013 is upon us and we are more than ready to dive into the glorious year the Lord has planned for us! We would want to thank God for what we went through the past year and let us pray that the coming year would be a blessing to many and that God will protect us. We want to thank God that this year we were able to conduct 11 seminars so far and the last one is coming in few days even when we had to lose our dear one. We would like to thank you our partners in seeing that marriage institution is not destroyed but strengthened as we embark on teaching the principles of the word of God. We want to thank you who were praying for these seminars and those who real gave generously to the ministry. May the Lord bless you and give you whatever your hear heart desires and to your families. We also thank those who were always available to go and teach at the expense of their work and families. Romans 13:11-14 New King James Version (NKJV) 11 And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed. 12 The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. 13 Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. 14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts. The battle over the marriage institution belongs to The Lord and we will praise and worship Him as His Spirit restores, delivers and saves all those marriages and families oppressed by the devil. Victory is inevitable for those who turn their eyes to the Lord and worship Him in Spirit and in truth. Keep your eyes and ears open for more information concerning this coming seminar as well as the other scheduled for 2013. Ruth, I and the entire M.R.N.U team would like to sincerely thank you, for all your prayers, financial assistance and heartfelt words of encouragement. We are completely aware that without your vital partnership with us, this ministry would not be as effective as it has and will continue to be. Together we take giant steps of victory for the kingdom of God, advancing against the kingdom of darkness, wielding the powerful sword of the Spirit and declaring the name that is high above every other name, the name of Jesus Christ, the risen Son of God. May The Lord Himself, continue to strengthen and comfort you in all your endeavors and may this season of your life be more than glorious as you celebrate His faithfulness, mercy and loving kindness over your lives and over this ministry! Psalm 25:10 New Living Translation (NLT) 10 The LORD leads with unfailing love and faithfulness all who keep his covenant and obey his demands. We love you so much, Moses and Ruth on behalf of M.R.N.U.

GOD MUST BE INVOLVED IN YOUR MARRIAGE

God Must Be Involved in Your Marriage For a marriage to be happy and successful for life, the husband and wife must include God as a partner in their marriage. They must acknowledge God as Supreme in their lives and together yield to what God instructs in the Bible about marriage. The marriage will fail if it is based on self-gratification and pleasure. Is God really involved in marriage? Malachi 2:14 Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Mark 10:7-9 "'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." Marriage is a covenant that includes God! Many marriage ceremonies include words such as, "Do you faithfully promise and covenant with God, in the presence of these witnesses to take..." If we covenant with God, then this makes marriage on a far higher plane than simply agreeing to live together legally as husband and wife. It means we willingly submit to the role God must play in the marriage. We will live by His rules. What's the purpose of marriage? Ephesians 5:31-33 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5 reveals how marriage is a type of the incredible love relationship between Jesus Christ and His Bride, the Church. No love could be greater! The Bible is the ultimate love story when understood in its overall concept and purpose. What is true love? 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails... Love isn't just a feeling of passionate desire for your lover and the unbearable thought of being apart. True love is based on outgoing concern for your partner. It's about self-sacrifice for the good of the one you love. In every marriage, things go wrong. What if the problem is not my fault? Proverbs 14:12 There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. Philippians 2:3-5 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus... Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 1 Thessalonians 5:15 See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all. Over time, seemingly insignificant irritations can get blown out of proportion, and before long, couples say or do things that are offensive to each other. The result? Arguments, conflict and, all too often, shouting matches. It is often very difficult to see our own faults. We're always right in our own eyes, so we naturally place the blame on our partner. This mind-set started way back in the Garden of Eden when Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the serpent (Genesis 3:12-13). But even if it really is not our fault, loudly insisting the other person take all the blame is not helpful. The optimal solution instead involves seeking peace, not revenge (Matthew 5:9; Romans 12:17-21). It involves seeking win-win strategies. The Bible shows that sometimes our good actions can, over time, win over our mate (1 Peter 3:1). Ideally, both partners will eventually work together to solve their problems. "Some negative ways of dealing with conflict are withdrawing, winning, yielding, and compromising. The ideal way of dealing with conflict is by resolving the conflict. It may take longer, but the relationship is then strengthened and needs are met on both sides" What should we say to help heal our relationships? Psalm 51:1, 10 (New Living Translation) Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins... Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Ephesians 4:32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her... Titus 2:4 (New Living Translation) These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children. When we sin, first we must repent and become right with God. Then we can seek His help in restoring the relationship. In every marriage relationship, there are several phrases that can help heal the damage that has been done due to conflicts and arguments. Three key phrases are listed below. 1. "I'm sorry." Use this one often, and mean it! Tell your spouse you're sorry for saying or doing the thing that has upset him or her. Whether you were right or wrong, it doesn't matter; your actions have had a negative impact on the spouse you love, and you should apologize for that. 2. "I forgive you." Jesus Christ died to forgive us of our sins. His great sacrifice should motivate us to be willing to forgive others. 3. "I love you." When said sincerely, this declaration cannot be overused. We need to know we are loved by the person we love. This short, sincere phrase, backed by loving actions, can put to rest all of our negative feelings, hurts, resentments and faults and can melt the heart of the one hearing these three beautiful words. Can the Flame Burn Again? Some may feel like the romance and excitement is long gone in their marriage. They stay together for convenience or for the sake of the children or other family members. But, as the well-known song asks, "Where is the love?" Can my marriage really be happy? Proverbs 5:18-19 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love. Ecclesiastes 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun. Yes, your marriage can be happy! The Bible reminds us that a wife is a blessing from God and tells husbands to "bring happiness" to their wives, starting from the first year of the marriage (Proverbs 18:22; Deuteronomy 24:5). To achieve happiness, it's important to keep the perspective that it's not "my" marriage but "our" marriage. The two of you are in this together and need to work together to bring life and energy back to the marriage if it has been lost. If you've been married a few years, find ways to rekindle the spark that led to your marriage in the first place. What attracted you to your spouse? Why did you get married? Try dating your spouse again! Some marriage partners have rekindled this desire by asking God for a loving, humble attitude and doing things to show love to their mate, even when they don't feel like it. Many married people have found that the feelings they long for return when they start doing the things that bind two people together.. Beyond the romance, the marriage relationship should also be a close and growing friendship. Consider this excellent advice: "Enjoying your spouse as both friend and marriage partner will help override many marital disagreements, whether financial or social. Couples who remain in love almost inevitably must also be good friends. They will share the ups and downs that are common within the marriage relationship" Did I really mean "for better or worse"? As we saw in Malachi 2:14, marriage is a covenant. When we took our marriage vows, we probably repeated words like "for better or worse." Did we really mean it? No matter what the situation might be right now in your marriage, can't you work together to make it better? Do you have the option to give up if the situation has become "worse"? God says He "hates divorce" (Malachi 2:16), and His expectation is for you to be committed to your marriage for life. Paul also gave instructions to Church members not to divorce (1 Corinthians 7:10-11), and Jesus Christ gave narrow definition to the terrible circumstances that would allow for divorce and remarriage (Matthew 19:3-9). A helpful exercise to begin restoring the love in your marriage is to go back and watch a video of your wedding if you have it. Listen to the words the minister is saying. Say those vows to each other again. In difficult times when you have tried everything you know how to do, it can be helpful to seek wise counsel (Proverbs 4:7; 11:14). Healthy, mature people are not afraid to seek help when they need it. Can we learn to love again? Ephesians 5:22-28 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. As we are seeing, love is not to be confused with infatuation. Love is selfless concern for another. True love will build up the one you love, not tear him or her down. True love will want to give and serve the other, not take in selfish disregard for the desires of your spouse. A husband should treat his wife like his queen, and a wife should treat her husband as her "knight in shining armor"—as corny as that might sound. Or, as the apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 5, we should treat each other as Christ and His Church do.

TRUE LOVE IS FROM GOD

TRUE LOVE IS FROM GOD. There is no word more frequently repeated in modern speech and song than the word love. But overuse has made the meaning of the word wear thin. To give back to the word love its proper depth, we must raise our thoughts to God, from whom love comes. 1 John 4:7-8 New Living Translation (NLT) 7 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. 8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. The only possible explanation is that, whether we realize it or not, all human love is really a longing for God. Only God can give that timeless happiness, that perfect satisfaction, that unchanging lovableness, that unfailing faithfulness which men and women are seeking in one another's love, but cannot fully find there. Both the joys and the sorrows of human love show that we are made for divine love It follows that, if human love is to begin to satisfy the heart of man, it must imitate God's love as closely as possible. To be like God's love for us, the love of man for woman must be faithful, unchanging, dependable unto death, must be patient, unwearyingly, forgiving. I wish you the best as you love each other unconditionally.

Marriage is God's Idea

Genesis 2:18-25 New King James Version (NKJV) 18 And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” 19 Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. 21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. • God is the One who noticed that it is not good for man to be alone (man was satisfied and he was not looking for a partner for life) • There is only one thing that can meet the man’s need, from God’s point of view, a woman (just 1, not more) • God creates the woman to be exactly what the man needs (the way that she is created physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally) • There is a clear process to marriage here: o man leaves his father and mother (creating a new family unit) o he first joins to his wife (the literal translation is cemented together, this is the bond of marriage) o then the 2 become 1 flesh (through the act of sexual intercourse, marriage first, then sexual relations) o the 2 were together and not ashamed (shame comes when sex comes before marriage, or when marriage is anything other than 1 man and 1 woman) • Someone may say, “but that was the Old Testament., we live under the New Testament. so things are different, right?”. That is a good point so let’s see what Jesus says on the topic, since He is the Mediator of the New Covenant or Testament. • He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. (Matthew 19:4-5)

IN THIS GENERATION, DOES MARRIAGE MATTER?

IN THIS GENERATION. DOES MARRIAGE MATTER? Marriage is the building block of families. Families are the building blocks of communities. Communities are the building blocks of society. When marriages and families break down, so do communities and ultimately society and civilization as a whole. We've seen this pattern before, and we're witnessing it again as this bedrock of society increasingly crumbles. As Jesus Christ Himself said: "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:4-6; quoting Genesis 1:27; Genesis 2:24). This is how God designed marriage, when we reject or redefine this pattern, we reap the tragic consequences. Never let yourself be lulled into thinking that marriage doesn't matter! Remember what happened to the people of Sodom and Gomorrah when they tried to change God’s plan of marriage. Marriage matter in this generation as before. Marriage helps us do God’s work better and helps us build relationships with other people.

Don't Let Bitterness Poison Your Marriage

Don’t Let Bitterness Poison Your Marriage The Bible says in Hebrews 12, “Make every effort to live in peace with all men (which would include your spouse) and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” But what do you do when your spouse hurts you so deeply that you find a bitter root developing within, despite your every effort, and the fact that you know it can hurt more than it can help? Someone once said, “Bitterness is an acid that hurts more the object in which it’s stored than the object on which it is poured.” You may not want to take it in, but you find yourself taking it in anyway. The following are a few thoughts for you to consider: • “When others (including our spouse) hurts us in ways we don’t deserve, at some point we will come to the crossroads of decision. We will have to look our pain square in the face and ask, ‘Am I going to hang on to my anger and do violence to myself, or am I going to forgive those who have wounded me? Am I going to allow bitterness to poison and putrefy my soul, or am I going to invite God to empower me to let the anger go? • The choices we make form the rudder that directs our marriage journey. Good choices keep us sailing smoothly in the right direction. Bad choices steer us toward the rocks. And every day in marriage, choices are made that keep couples headed where they want to go or lead them to places that they dread. • “Listen to these words: ‘We stand at the crossroads, each minute, each hour, each day, making choices. We choose the thoughts we allow ourselves to think, the passions we allow ourselves to feel, and the actions we allow ourselves to perform. Each choice is made in the context of whatever value system we’ve selected to govern our lives. In selecting that value system, we are, in a very real way, making the most important choice we will ever make.’ Benjamin Franklin said this, and his words have more wisdom for married couples than he probably ever knew.” Keep in mind that: In order to thrive, bitterness averts its gaze from God’s grace and mercy, focusing instead on the multitude of ways He and people we’ve counted on have let us down. There probably isn’t any of us would want to choose to hold onto bitterness. But how do you make a different “choice?” To help you with this, we would like to recommend that you read books from other marriage teachers, study the bible and always remember to pray for yourself and your spouse for God’s help. Hopefully, these things, along with what you can read in the Bible, and other articles you can read on marriage from other writers, and most importantly, working through all of this with our Wonderful Counselor, the Holy Spirit, you can better release whatever bitterness you are struggling with. Maybe you can pray the following is a prayer, God “Help me not to hold myself apart from [my spouse] emotionally, mentally, or physically because of unforgiveness. Where either of us needs to ask forgiveness of the other, help us to do so. If there is something I’m not seeing that is adding to this problem, reveal it to me and help me to understand it. Remove any wedge of confusion that has created misunderstanding or miscommunication. Where there is behavior that needs to change in either of us, I pray You would enable that change to happen. As much as I want to hang on to my anger toward [my spouse] because I feel it is justified, I want to do what You want. I release all those feelings to You. Give me a renewed sense of love for him and words to heal this situation.” “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24) “Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” (Psalm 25:4-5)

Love Is Impossible Withought Jesus

Love is impossible withought Jesus Let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone Who loves is born of God and knows God. -1 John 4:7 To have genuine love, you must know the secret. And though it’s been an unspoken element throughout each day, you’ve likely grown more and more suspicious of it all the time. Now that you’re this far, it’s a secret you’re discovering for yourself, even if you haven’t exactly known how to put it into words. The secret is this: you cannot manufacture unconditional love (or agape love) out of your own heart. It’s impossible. It’s beyond your capabilities. It’s beyond all our capabilities. You may have demonstrated kindness and unselfishness in some form, and you may have learned to be more thoughtful and considerate. But sincerely loving someone unselfishly and unconditionally is another matter altogether. So how can you do it? Like it or not, agape love isn’t something you can do. It’s something only God can do. But because of His great love for you-and His love for your spouse-He chooses to express His love through you. Still, you may not believe that. You may be convinced that with enough hard work and commitment, you can muster up unconditional, long-term, sacrificial love from your own heart. You want to believe it’s in you. But how many times has your love failed to keep you from lying, from lusting, from overreacting, from thinking evil of this person you’ve vowed before God to love for the rest of your life? How many times has your love proven incapable of controlling your anger? How many times has your love motivated you to forgive or brought about a peaceable end to an ongoing argument? It’s this failure that exposes mankind’s sinful condition. We’ve all fallen short of Gods commands (Romans 3:23). We’ve all demonstrated selfishness, hatred, and pride. And unless something is done to cleanse us of these ungodly attributes, we will stand before God guilty as charged (Romans 6:23). That’s why if you’re not right with God, you can’t truly love your spouse He is the source of that love. You can’t give what you don’t have. You can’t call up inner reserves and resources that aren’t there to be summoned. In the same way that you can’t give away a million dollars if you don’t have it to start with, you cannot pay out love in greater measure than you own. You can try, but you will fail. So the hard news is this: love that is able to withstand every pressure is out of reach, as long as you’re only looking within yourself to find it. You need someone who can give you that kind of love. “Love is from God” (1 John 4:7). And only those who have allowed Him into their heart through faith in His son, Jesus-only those who have received the spirit of Christ through belief in His death and resurrection-are able to tap into love’s real power. “Apart from me,” Jesus said, “you can do nothing” (John 15:5). But He also said, “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you” (John 15:7). God has promised through Christ to dwell in your heart through faith so that you can “know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:19 NKJV). When you surrender yourself to Christ, His power can work through you. Even at your very best, you are not able to live up to God’s standards. But He “is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us”(Ephesians 3:20). That’s how you love your spouse. So this unsettling secret-as defeating as it may feel-has a happy ending for those who will stop resisting and will receive the love God has for them. This means that the love He has “poured out within our hearts through the Holy spirit who was given to us”(Romans 5:5) is always available, every time we choose to submit to it. You simply won’t be able to do it without Him. Perhaps you’ve never given your heart to Christ, but you sense Him drawing you today. You may be realizing for the first time that you, too, have Gods commands, and that your guilt will keep you from knowing Him. But scripture says that if you repent by turning away from your sins and turning to God, He is willing to forgive you because of the sacrifice His son made on the cross. He is pursuing you, not to enslave you but to free you, so you can receive His love and forgiveness. Then you can share it with the one you’ve been called most specifically to love. Perhaps you’re already a believer, but you would admit that you have walked away from fellowship with God. You’re not in the word, you’re not in prayer, maybe you’re not even in church anymore. The love you used to feel coursing through your veins has dwindled into apathy. The truth is, you can’t live without Him and you can’t love without Him. But there is no telling what He could do in your marriage if you put your trust in Him. Jesus is the source of help we need to love those next to us and the unlovable. Trust him and you will never regret.

Good Communication Is the Key to A Happy Marriage

Good Communication is the Key to a happy Marriage. God is the Great Communicator, and He has revealed many important communication principles in the Bible. By following these keys, we can strengthen our relationships and learn to think and act more like our loving Creator. Esther 7 tells the dramatic story of the conversation in which Queen Esther saved her people: "So the king and Haman went to Queen Esther's banquet. And while they were drinking wine that day, the king again asked her, 'Tell me what you want, Queen Esther. What is your request? I will give it to you, even if it is half the kingdom!' "And so Queen Esther replied, 'If Your Majesty is pleased with me and wants to grant my request, my petition is that my life and the lives of my people will be spared. For my people and I have been sold to those who would kill, slaughter, and annihilate us. If we had only been sold as slaves, I could remain quiet, for that would have been a matter too trivial to warrant disturbing the king.' "'Who would do such a thing?' King Xerxes demanded. 'Who would dare touch you?' "Esther replied, 'This wicked Haman is our enemy'" (Esther 7:1-6, New Living Translation). Let us learn a few communication skills. What Keys to Good Communication Does the Bible Give? What we say and how we listen to others is important to God. He warns us that "death and life are in the power of the tongue" and that we must give account of "every idle word" we speak (Proverbs 18:21; Matthew 12:36). What summary principles for good communication and interpersonal relations did James record? James 1:19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath... Many of the communication pitfalls that wreck relationships come from violating these three keys. We tend to be slow to listen but quick to speak our minds, and in the resulting confusion and selfishness we are very quick to get our feelings hurt and to get angry. In this lesson we will focus on the first two points James made: being swift to hear and slow to speak. Swift to Hear What happens if we are quick to speak instead of quick to hear? Proverbs 18:13 He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him. It's natural to think we know what other people want or need before they finish asking. And we generally assume that what we have to say is what the other person should really be interested in hearing. Listening skills are rarely taught and generally neglected. "You've spent years learning how to read and write, years learning how to speak. But what about listening? What training or education have you had that enables you to listen so that you really, deeply understand another human being from that individual's own frame of reference?" We have to overcome this lack of training by focusing on the other person and forcing ourselves to try to understand his or her viewpoint before sharing our own. What mind-set must we avoid in order to truly understand another person? Proverbs 18:2 A fool has no delight in understanding, but in expressing his own heart. We all want to, and are taught to, express ourselves. But when our desire for self-expression keeps us from trying to really understand the other person, we are being foolish and selfish. This is the opposite of the attitude the apostle Paul encouraged: "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others" (Philippians 2:3-4). Tips for improving our listening include: Smile and look the other person in the eye naturally (it's not a stare down). Ask questions to show you are interested and to clarify things you aren't sure of. Look for common ground. Try to block out distractions. Don't focus on rehearsing what you will say next. If the person expresses strong feelings, try to acknowledge them without becoming offended or angry yourself. Slow to Speak How did David ask God to help him with his communication? Psalm 141:3, New Living Translation Take control of what I say, O Lord, and keep my lips sealed. Psalm 19:14, New Living Translation May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Obviously David didn't mean he wanted his lips permanently sewn shut. Though we can't keep our lips sealed at all times, we all want our words to be pleasing to God. We can't get through life without communicating. In fact, Proverbs 10:19 clarifies that it is a "multitude of words" that generally causes the problem. We should avoid being overly talkative and garrulous. Also we must be very careful to think before we speak and to choose our words carefully. Whatever we say should be edifying and intended to reflect the nature of Christ and to glorify God. Let's look at some of the keys God gives for good communication. What should we choose to say? Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. Romans 12:14-15 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. God wants us to choose our words wisely. Blessings and praiseworthy information should predominate our conversations. Matthew Henry's Commentary on Colossians 4:6 explains, "Grace is the salt which seasons our discourse, makes it savoury, and keeps it from corrupting." What should be the tone of our talk? 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. God's Spirit is the true source of our joy, and our reasonable response should be thankfulness. The apostle Paul regularly let people know he was thankful for them (1 Thessalonians 1:2), and we should follow his example. What should we avoid saying? Many destructive forms of communication, from profanity to gossip to offensive comments, are covered in our lesson "Communication Pitfalls." How should we say what we say? Proverbs 15:1-2 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness. Proverbs 25:11-12 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise rebuker to an obedient ear. Ephesians 4:15 ...but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ... When we speak softly, kindly, wisely, truthfully and with love, we can defuse negative feelings and promote positive relationships. Tips for improving our spoken communication include: Speak clearly, avoiding jargon and confusing ramblings. Be respectful. Use "I" statements ("I feel uncomfortable when...") instead of accusing. Apologize when needed. Be forgiving. Don't rush or cut the other person off. Don't talk just to fill the silence. Express appreciation and encouragement. If we practice these principles and add prayer, we can avoid many problems in our marriage. Let us ask the Holy Spirit to help us do the right thing and say the right words.

In Marriage God Must Be Involved

God Must Be Involved in Your Marriage For a marriage to be happy and successful for life, the husband and wife must include God as a partner in their marriage. They must acknowledge God as Supreme in their lives and together yield to what God instructs in the Bible about marriage. The marriage will fail if it is based on self-gratification and pleasure. Is God really involved in marriage? Malachi 2:14 Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Mark 10:7-9 "'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." Marriage is a covenant that includes God! Many marriage ceremonies include words such as, "Do you faithfully promise and covenant with God, in the presence of these witnesses to take..." If we covenant with God, then this makes marriage on a far higher plane than simply agreeing to live together legally as husband and wife. It means we willingly submit to the role God must play in the marriage. We will live by His rules. What's the purpose of marriage? Ephesians 5:31-33 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5 reveals how marriage is a type of the incredible love relationship between Jesus Christ and His Bride, the Church. No love could be greater! The Bible is the ultimate love story when understood in its overall concept and purpose. What is true love? 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails... Love isn't just a feeling of passionate desire for your lover and the unbearable thought of being apart. True love is based on outgoing concern for your partner. It's about self-sacrifice for the good of the one you love. In every marriage, things go wrong. What if the problem is not my fault? Proverbs 14:12 There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. Philippians 2:3-5 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus... Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 1 Thessalonians 5:15 See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all. Over time, seemingly insignificant irritations can get blown out of proportion, and before long, couples say or do things that are offensive to each other. The result? Arguments, conflict and, all too often, shouting matches. It is often very difficult to see our own faults. We're always right in our own eyes, so we naturally place the blame on our partner. This mind-set started way back in the Garden of Eden when Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the serpent (Genesis 3:12-13). But even if it really is not our fault, loudly insisting the other person take all the blame is not helpful. The optimal solution instead involves seeking peace, not revenge (Matthew 5:9; Romans 12:17-21). It involves seeking win-win strategies. The Bible shows that sometimes our good actions can, over time, win over our mate (1 Peter 3:1). Ideally, both partners will eventually work together to solve their problems. Some negative ways of dealing with conflict are withdrawing, winning, yielding, and compromising. The ideal way of dealing with conflict is by resolving the conflict. It may take longer, but the relationship is then strengthened and needs are met on both sides. What should we say to help heal our relationships? Psalm 51:1, 10 (New Living Translation) Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins... Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Ephesians 4:32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her... Titus 2:4 (New Living Translation) These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children. When we sin, first we must repent and become right with God. Then we can seek His help in restoring the relationship. In every marriage relationship, there are several phrases that can help heal the damage that has been done due to conflicts and arguments. Three key phrases are listed below. 1. "I'm sorry." Use this one often, and mean it! Tell your spouse you're sorry for saying or doing the thing that has upset him or her. Whether you were right or wrong, it doesn't matter; your actions have had a negative impact on the spouse you love, and you should apologize for that. 2. "I forgive you." Jesus Christ died to forgive us of our sins. His great sacrifice should motivate us to be willing to forgive others. 3. "I love you." When said sincerely, this declaration cannot be overused. We need to know we are loved by the person we love. This short, sincere phrase, backed by loving actions, can put to rest all of our negative feelings, hurts, resentments and faults and can melt the heart of the one hearing these three beautiful words. Can the Flame Burn Again? Some may feel like the romance and excitement is long gone in their marriage. They stay together for convenience or for the sake of the children or other family members. But, as the well-known song asks, "Where is the love?" Can my marriage really be happy? Proverbs 5:18-19 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love. Ecclesiastes 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun. Yes, your marriage can be happy! The Bible reminds us that a wife is a blessing from God and tells husbands to "bring happiness" to their wives, starting from the first year of the marriage (Proverbs 18:22; Deuteronomy 24:5). To achieve happiness, it's important to keep the perspective that it's not "my" marriage but "our" marriage. The two of you are in this together and need to work together to bring life and energy back to the marriage if it has been lost. If you've been married a few years, find ways to rekindle the spark that led to your marriage in the first place. What attracted you to your spouse? Why did you get married? Try dating your spouse again! Some marriage partners have rekindled this desire by asking God for a loving, humble attitude and doing things to show love to their mate, even when they don't feel like it. Many married people have found that the feelings they long for return when they start doing the things that bind two people together Beyond the romance, the marriage relationship should also be a close and growing friendship. Consider this excellent advice: "Enjoying your spouse as both friend and marriage partner will help override many marital disagreements, whether financial or social. Couples who remain in love almost inevitably must also be good friends. They will share the ups and downs that are common within the marriage relationship" Did I really mean "for better or worse"? As we saw in Malachi 2:14, marriage is a covenant. When we took our marriage vows, we probably repeated words like "for better or worse." Did we really mean it? No matter what the situation might be right now in your marriage, can't you work together to make it better? Do you have the option to give up if the situation has become "worse"? God says He "hates divorce" (Malachi 2:16), and His expectation is for you to be committed to your marriage for life. Paul also gave instructions to Church members not to divorce (1 Corinthians 7:10-11), and Jesus Christ gave narrow definition to the terrible circumstances that would allow for divorce and remarriage (Matthew 19:3-9). A helpful exercise to begin restoring the love in your marriage is to go back and watch a video of your wedding if you have it. Listen to the words the minister is saying. Say those vows to each other again. If you don't have this available to you, click on this link to read a wedding ceremony. In difficult times when you have tried everything you know how to do, it can be helpful to seek wise counsel (Proverbs 4:7; 11:14). Healthy, mature people are not afraid to seek help when they need it. Can we learn to love again? Ephesians 5:22-28 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. As we are seeing, love is not to be confused with infatuation. Love is selfless concern for another. True love will build up the one you love, not tear him or her down. True love will want to give and serve the other, not take in selfish disregard for the desires of your spouse. A husband should treat his wife like his queen, and a wife should treat her husband as her "knight in shining armor"—as corny as that might sound. Or, as the apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 5, we should treat each other as Christ and His Church do.

IT IS TIME TO PRAY

Friend in the institution of marriage, have you struggled to find happiness in your marriage? Perhaps it’s time you and your spouse invited God to direct your relationship. If you would like to do so, we encourage you to pray the following: "Dear God, thank you so much for bringing us together as a couple. We know that you have a plan and a purpose for our marriage, and we invite you, Lord Jesus, to forgive the past self-centeredness, and come into our lives and relationship. Direct our steps from now on. Please give us the grace to put You and each other first every day. Make our relationship a blessing to others. But most of all; make it a blessing to you. In Jesus’ name, Amen."

Wives

Wives, let us enjoy this new week as we practice our God given roles as wives. Wives must; •Submit to the leadership of your husband in the home. A husband is the head of the family, but you are a single unit. You have great input and influence in family decisions. Don’t be slow or timid to graciously give your opinions (Ephesians 5:31). •Respect your husband. A disrespectful wife will soon lose her husband, and gain his bitterness. Let humility be your beautiful garment. •Love your husbands (Titus 2:4). Care for them. Encourage and support them. Be faithful to them (cf. 1 Peter 3:1, 2). Help them succeed, because your success is tied to theirs. As Peter said, “let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit, not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead” (1 Peter 3:8, 9). Be happy people in your Christian marriage.

HUSBANDS

Husbands, this new week let us think of our roles as husbands. Husbands as Christian, you must •Love her as you do your own body, and as Christ loves you (Ephesians 5:25, 28). Keep her best interests at heart always. •Cherish and nourish her, and help her to reach the full potential Christ has for her (Ephesians 5:29). This also means to support, take care of, and protect her. Treat her as special and important – the greatest gift you will ever have. •Live with her tenderly, gently, and faithfully. Avoid grudges and bitterness (Colossians 3:19). Give her great honor and understanding (1 Peter 3:7). •You are the head of the home, but if you are wise, you will listen very carefully to the wisdom God has given your wife. A good general always listens to his advisors. Remember, you and your wife are two sides of one union (1 Corinthians 11:11, 12). Be careful how you exercise authority. Just as a worker will quit a domineering boss, a wife will quit a domineering husband

Work To Bring Life Back In Your Marriage

In today's world it seems like there is never enough time in our day to accomplish everything that we would like to. Between the responsibilities that we have of raising a family, succeeding at work and keeping up with our own busy schedules, nurturing our marriage can easily move down on our list of priorities. Each Married Life live event is presented around one of the following Six Essentials of a Healthy Marriage. Trust God – We believe the number one essential is to allow God to control our lives and our marriages. Cultivate Communication – Feeling understood in your marriage is one of the greatest feelings a couple can have, yet feeling misunderstood can be one the greatest challenges in your marriage. We believe that good communication is a major component of a healthy marriage and we to help you to have great communication with your spouse. Nurture Romance – The power of romance and intimacy can be a marriages greatest ally or it can become its greatest enemy. We want to help couples recognize that we each have unique needs and remember that our spouse has unique needs as well. Celebrate Differences – God created men and women to be totally different. As couples we can use those differences to complement and serve each other or we can allow our difference to push us apart. We believe that couples should seek to understand, love and accept each other's differences. Hurry Home – Spend time together as a family is an important priority in a successful marriage. We believe that the grass is always greener where you water it so our schedules must reflect the priority of home. Finish Together – One essential that every healthy marriage needs is security. We believe that couples need to know that together we can work anything out.

Dealing With The Unlovable Husband For Married Women It is easy to live in harmony when your husband is treating you well. But what if he’s not? How do you treat your husband when he is unloving and moody? Listen to what Jesus says regarding difficult relationships: “Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayers for that person… If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously. “Here is a simple rule of thumb for your behavior. Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? …I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never—I promise —regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind. “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, and criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.” (Luke 6:27-38, The Message) One way you can tell that you are walking in the Spirit in your marriage is to ask: Is my husband’s response my goal, or am I doing this to please the Lord? God will enable you to be compassionate to someone who doesn’t deserve it, just as He was and is to you. Ask yourself, “Why is my husband moody and sharp with me?” Often the answer is that you are simply catching the overflow of what happened to him at work, with his parents, or with some other problem. Is this fair? No, but life isn’t always fair. Consider other possibilities as well: Is he stressed about something in particular? Is he fatigued due to extra house he’s putting in at work? Is he going through a difficult time with someone? Ask God to give you understanding and patience during these times and continue to treat your husband lovingly, regardless of how he may be treating you. Don’t be so sensitive that you let your feelings and emotions be set by another’s treatment of you. Jesus didn’t do that. He continued to live His life with honor, dignity, love, and mercy through the most difficult times. Don’t be judgmental or unfriendly. Don’t allow yourself to be too easily wounded, crushed, or hurt. Guard against bitterness and being quick to forgive. Ask Jesus to help develop these attitudes in you when you face challenging times. Be a Blessing Your job is to bless (1 Peter 3:9, The Message). Put another way, it reads like this: Never return evil for evil or insult for insult—scolding, tongue-lashing, berating; but on the contrary blessing—praying for their welfare, happiness, and protection, and truly pitying and loving them. For know that to this you have been called, that you may yourselves inherit a blessing [from God]—obtain a blessing as heirs, bringing welfare and happiness and protection. (1 Peter 3:9, AMP) Holy, beautiful women never return harsh words, but instead give a blessing back! One way to do this is through prayer. Do you see that the blessed outcome of our unselfish prayer for our husbands’ welfare, happiness, and protection is that we inherit these things as well? Have you and your husband ever been in the following cycle? He raises his voice; you raise yours. He becomes louder; you retaliate. This is an endless cycle, but the dynamics of it can be broken quickly if you no longer react. You can choose to act instead in a manner the Bible says is right. Your consistent, sweet, silent response to poor behavior may be the very thing God uses to change your husband. Don’t give in to the urge to let your silence be cold and stony. When Jesus was oppressed and afflicted, He did not open His mouth (Isaiah 53:7; Matthew 26:63; Matthew 27:12-14, NASB). Mark says that Pilate was amazed at how Jesus stayed silent in the midst of the accusations that were swirling around Him. Only when He was placed under oath and asked whether He was the King of the Jews did He humbly reply, “Yes, it is as you say” (Mark 15:2). If your husband is short-tempered and impatient, try remaining silent in love. Stop participating in the vicious cycle of “he gets angry; I get angry.” Choose not to react during heated times. Wait until your husband has cooled down or is more rested before discussing things. Suppose you had two dogs. Let’s say one was red and the other blue. What would happen if you fed only the red dog and not the blue one? The red dog would become bigger and stronger while the blue one became weaker. Over time, Red would thrive, while Blue shriveled away. Every time you act in a loving way toward your husband, it’s as if you’re feeding the red dog and refusing to feed the blue one. The basic principle is simple: Feed Red, and starve Blue! Each time you do this, it becomes more and more a part of your natural response. What you’re doing is training your mind to think in a new way, and each successive attempt becomes easier. Begin now to pray that you will have the strength to do this, and begin praying scripturally and fervently for your husband. How to Pray Scripturally An example is given in Colossians of a powerful way to pray. You might consider praying for your husband in such a way. Pray that he will: be filled with the knowledge of God’s will, have spiritual wisdom and understanding, walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, living a life full of integrity, please the Lord in all respects and do those things that bring glory to God, bear fruit in every good work, increase in the knowledge of God, be strengthened with all power according to the Lord’s glorious might, attain steadfastness and patience, joyously give thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. (Colossians 1:9-12)

The Three Callings Of A Husband For Married Men LOOK AT THE SCRIPTURE: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). This message has been around for thousands of years, so it’s nothing new. But this passage, recited in most traditional wedding ceremonies, is lightly acknowledged by the participants, who have little understanding of its meaning or its application in their own marriages. The same Scripture passage says a couple of verses earlier, “The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church” (v. 23). Sadly, however, too many of us deviate from the Writer’s script, instead allowing our culture’s ideas of what husbands and wives are to be to dictate our understanding of marriage. The result? Far too many marriages get off track. To understand and follow the script, we have to shut our ears, eyes, and minds to our culture and focus on God’s Word, something too few people are willing to do these days. Let’s face it: If you’re following Scripture, you’re going the opposite direction on a one-way street with everyone else honking their horns at you and questioning your sanity. But God’s Word tells us, “Don’t become so well adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out” (Romans 12:2, The Message). Now, let’s take a look at what the script says about what God calls husbands to do and be. 1 Called to Lead According to the word of God, a husband has three callings, the first of which is to be a leader, or “the head of the wife.” But what does that mean? It doesn’t mean control, passive non involvement, asserted superiority, or taking advantage. On the contrary, a husband must never use his role as leader for selfish benefit. To do so would deviate from the Writer and Director’s script. A husband must never put his wife into a straitjacket of compliance, or she will wither and her love for him will deaden. Even recent secular research has shown that what kills the love of a spouse for the other is in direct violation of Scripture —i.e., attempting to control our partner rather than serve them. The issue of the man’s leadership in the home has been a concern for years. Book after book has been written on this subject including Passive Men, Wild Women and Husbands Who won’t lead and Wives Who Won’t Follow. We’re talking about biblical headship —specifically the authority of the man to lead. But there are strings attached. Ephesians 5:22-23 states, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” This passage endows the authority of a husband’s headship, but it also defines and limits it. The analogy of Christ’s relationship to the church as a basis for the husband’s headship means that the only time he has the right to exercise family authority is when he does it in ways that are consistent with Christ’s nature and purpose. One powerful minister of God’s stated this well when he said, “Headship that transgresses the purposes of God loses God’s endorsement.” A man’s motives for leading a marriage spiritually can sometimes be mixed, but when he allows God to lead him and when his heart is open to God and His purposes, then his headship receives His support. So what does that kind of leadership look like in practical terms? The authority God gives men to lead is built on service. This is a difficult balancing and juggling act for many. The problem is not with the teaching, but with the man who misuses the teaching that he is to lead to serve his own needs and desires. Some men behave like drill sergeants, snapping out orders at their wives and children, which doesn’t reflect Scripture but their own selfishness and insecurity. The truth is, a husband is called to think of others—particularly his wife—first, ahead of himself. That’s not easy for many men. For one thing, the idea of being a servant leader runs counter to the thinking in our present-day “me” culture. But with some hard work and sacrifice, it can be done. I’ve seen both kinds of leadership. I’ve seen the self-appointed “dictators” who distort scriptural teaching for their own benefit. The result of this kind of leadership is that marriages and families suffer and fragment. But I’ve also observed men who are servant leaders, whose families flourished as a result. 2.AHusband is Called to Sacrificial Love God’s word also calls the husband to be not just a servant leader but also a lover, meaning that his headship of his family is not to exhibit dominating control but the sacrificial love of Jesus. And how did Christ love when He was on earth? He was single-minded in His mission of love as He spent time with the disciples and communicated with them, teaching them about forgiveness. He also led by example, helping strengthen the disciples where they were weak. He defended the disciples, praised them before the others, and revealed Himself to them. And why did Jesus do these things? It’s because He was concerned about the church’s well-being and future glory. That is how a husband is to love his wife. A husband represents Jesus in the home, and his role is to bring out God’s glory in his wife and lift her up —for her well-being. This is leadership that leaves a wife feeling special, valued, and loved. So how specifically can a husband do that? There are many ways, one of the most important being a husband’s putting his wife first over children, parents, siblings, work, TV, and hobbies. Doing this will strengthen a marriage. But conversely, not doing it will weaken the marriage. Another thing a loving husband can do is learn his wife’s “love language” —in other words, the ways she tends to best express and receive love from others —and package his love in a way that speaks to her and meets her needs. A husband is also to love his wife unconditionally, the same way God loves all of us. He is not to love her “because she…” but “regardless.” When a husband loves his wife sacrificially and unconditionally, then she more fully realizes God’s love and regard for her, and this in turn brings glory to Him. God expects us to care for one another. A husband who neglects or demeans his wife robs her of what God wants for her and robs himself of growth and development as well. Regarding couples caring for one another, because two people who marry are to be one, if either part damages, demoralizes, or degrades the other, then neither will be completely whole. Now a marriage with one side diminished will deprive both persons of fully being and doing what God desires. God has designed the similarities and differences of a man and woman in marriage to complement and support the spiritual growth of both. Neither part to the marriage can develop fully if either one is denied his or her personal potential. What an opportunity a husband has! It’s very much like Jesus’ redemptive work on behalf of the church in that a husband is not to live for himself, but should live to be used as a channel of God’s goodness in his wife’s life. He is to respond, react, speak, and think toward her in ways that enable her to develop who she is and to develop her gifts as a way to bring glory to God. An encouraging man does this. He’s a man who sincerely tells his wife, “I believe in you,” “Go for it,” and “How can I help you?” Called to Lead —and Love —Sacrificially A husband is to lead in his marriage by example and sacrificially, not by ordering or constantly instructing his wife. He is never, and I mean never, to tell his wife what the Scriptures say she is to do. Rather, his only focus is to be on loving his wife as Christ love the church —that is, sacrificially. In practical terms, this could mean, among other things, volunteering to bathe the children or massage his wife’s feet, turning off the football game and talking with her, or going shopping with her —even after he’s put in a twelve-hour day at work. Sacrificial love involves participating in something that is important or a favorite of hers, even if it’s relatively unimportant to you or definitely not one of you favorites. It may mean doing any of the following (although it’s not limited to any or all of these, and you can think of many more): • Initiating prayer with her without concern that your prayers may be briefer and more bottom-line than hers. • Learning to say these three phrases: “You were right,” “I was wrong,” and “I am sorry.” • Calling her with any delay of plans. • Practicing Proverbs 31:28-29 (praising her) consistently. • Accepting her communication style and opinions as different from yours, and not necessarily wrong. • Accepting her femaleness and celebrating the differences that come form it. • Asking for her opinion. • Discovering the uniqueness of her personality in order to understand her and communicate better. • Asking what television show or movie she would like to watch. Before we move on, ask yourself which of these you did these past weeks. Then ask yourself which of these you will do during the coming weeks. 3. Called to Lead by Learning. In most happy marriages, a husband must Accept his Wife’s Influence. It has been found out that men who enjoyed the most stable, happy marriages were also likely ones who listened to their wives’ suggestions and concerns and followed them. These were men who were willing to learn, change, and grow. I have found that to be true in my own marriage. Over the years, I have learned that my wife is innately gifted with knowledge, insights, and abilities I don’t have. That is probably why the apostle Peter wrote, “[Husbands,] live with your wives in an understanding way … and show them respect” (1 Peter 3:7, NCV), which very simply means that husbands are called on to understand their wives —how they think, how they respond emotionally, and what they need to feel loved and fulfilled in a marriage. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard men say, “I just don’t understand my wife.” My response to that is simply: You can learn! We men can be much worse than lacking in our knowledge of the opposite sex; we can be downright clueless! There is much each and every husband has to learn when it comes to loving their wives. But we can learn, and not only that, we need to learn. It’s not that difficult, either. It’s a matter of taking the time to be a student, a learner, first. So how can you learn? First, when your wife talks to you, be a listener before you’re a fixer. We men tend to want to rush ahead and “fix situations out wives talk to us about when most of the time, our wives just want us to listen to how they feel about their situation. For that reason, we should take the time to ask our wives, “Is this a fix-it time or learning time?” It goes against the grain of most men to hear this, but I have learned that listening is often one of the best ways to fix things. Second, be honest with your wife. Don’t hide. Share your hurts, your fears, your concerns, your disappointments, your life. Believe me, this will draw the two of you closer than you can imagine. And when you’re vulnerable, you’re leading in love, and she’ll want to follow. Your marriage needs to be re-created daily … The culture’s alternatives to marriage are destructive; God’s plan is flawless …The benefits of marriage are a carefully guarded secret … and “Me” or “We?”

Knowing What The Bible Teaches About The Gift Of Marriage

Knowing What the Bible Teaches About The Gift Of Marriage The traditional marriage relationship is so similar to God's loving relationship with His people that He used it to illustrate His covenant with His people in the Old Testament and Christ's love for His church in the New Testament. The only true and acceptable definition of human marriage is the union of one man with one woman in a lifelong bond of love, respect and companionship. Whether or not earthly societies create laws to define it any differently does not change the meaning of Christian marriage. The 'world' may call these other unions what they want but it does not alter the unalterable fact that God created husband-wife marriage as He created it! Let's look at what the Bible says about marriage. 1. What is Christian Marriage? Christian marriage is a relationship between (one man with one woman) that was created from the beginning as described in Genesis 2:18 "And the Lord said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him ..." 2:22 "Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib and brought her to Adam" 2:24 "For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined (cleaved) to his wife and the two are united into one" Genesis 2:24 is repeated in the New Testament in Mark 10:6-9 and Ephesians 5:31-32. In the latter case, Paul is comparing the marriage of man and woman to the relationship of Christ and His church - a great mystery - one that while on earth we cannot fully understand. When something is repeated three times in Scripture, God means for us to take notice ... it is important to Him and for us to understand this importance! Marriage was God's idea from the very beginning and was reinforced in the time of Jesus. Marriage is a solemn act and a sacred relationship not to be entered into lightly Christian marriage is more than a 'civil ceremony' and it is more than a 'legal entity' although any marriage carries with it both civil and legal responsibilities. At Marriage Restoration Network Uganda Three we believe that Jesus Christ must be made central in any marriage for it to succeed. With Christ truly at the center, a marriage cannot fail. Marriage is a covenant and not a contract which means there are no hidden terms, no loop holes. In God's design, the marriage covenant is a lifelong covenant broken only by death. In the fallen world that we live in, worldly pressures have degraded the covenant aspect of marriage to a loose contract that implies 'if you do this, I will do that' and 'if you don't do this, I won't do that' and the 'contact' is void. Marriage is a triangle. It is worth keeping in mind when you are thinking about your marriage based on Christ's centrality. For a man or woman to have a good relationship with his or her spouse must have a good relationship with Jesus Christ. Remember what the Bible says in Colossians 3:17 “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus.” And verse 23 continues to say, “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto man.” So when we keep God as part of the contract, it will hard for us to break it. But when we keep him out of our marriage we become valunable to breaking it and going against God’s word. For us to live to enjoy our marriage and to abide by the covenant we make, we must keep God’s principles about marriage for He is the author of marriage. Remember he made marriage for our happiness. Besides the obvious reason of procreation, husband-wife marriage was established because God didn't want His created human beings to be alone. Even though we are blessed with family and friends, God created us to desire an intimate relationship with another human being. His plan is that this lifelong, intimate relationship be fulfilled in the husband-wife marriage covenant. Other deep, lifelong relationships between people are certainly in God's plan, but not for 'intimate' union. "And the LORD said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion." Genesis 2:18 "For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined (cleaved) to his wife and the two are united into one." Genesis 2:24 If a man and a woman are married to each other and want to fulfill their vows as God intended, these vows must have been made in His presence (in a solemnized Christian marriage ceremony), must have been made by free will, and must have been based on each person's belief in Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord. Here are a few Biblical principles for a Christian Marriage your marriage must be an example to all your friends of what a good marriage should be but are you both drawing closer to each other as you journey through life or are you being drawn apart by the world? Here are some things that the Bible has to say about marriage, a happy, strong marriage! Genesis 2:24 "For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined (cleaved) to his wife and the two are united into one." The husband must LEAVE his parents and CLEAVE to his wife - not cleave to his parents and leave his wife. This leaving and cleaving is so important - a husband cannot live for his parents and his wife. Once he has chosen to marry, his wife is to be the most important human being in his life - above parents, above siblings, above children! Yes, above children. Joshua 24:15"... choose today whom you will serve ... But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord." Sometimes this is hard to do when we feel we have to serve 'the boss', serve the church, serve the school and serve the community. Read Matthew 6:33 and ponder on this Scripture that says” But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Serving the church as a deacon or an elder or a Sunday school teacher are all good works of service, but in the marriage context, if they take away from the marriage relationship, then are they really "seeking the Kingdom first"? Proverbs 5:15 "Drink water from your own well - share your love only with your wife (husband)." This is pretty self-explanatory. You cannot love (in an intimate, marriage way), more than one other - your spouse. Hebrews 13:4 Again referring to fidelity, "Give honour to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery." Ephesians 5: 21 "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." The Bible has a lot to say about submission in the marriage context. Don't get caught up on the word "submit" as the world defines it. Submission in the Bible means to honour or to worship, that is to give 'worth-ship' to your spouse -- both the husband and the wife! Most people stop at the verse that says "wives submit to your husbands" and don't go on to the next part that says "as your husbands submit to Christ." There is a creation order to things not from a superiority point of view but from an 'orderly' point of view. All cannot be boss, all cannot be leaders, all cannot be first but in a Christian marriage, there must be an order based on the Biblical perspective that HUSBANDS must first SUBMIT their lives to Christ before all else. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing." “CHRISTIANITY without love is not CHRISTIANITY!” Verses 4-8a: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.” Verses 8b-13: "But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection “CHRIST” comes, the imperfect “US” disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child; I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man “LEAVE and CLEAVE”, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." Most people when they think of love and marriage look at versus 4 through 8a, the "love" verses. But Paul wants us to read all of this section in terms of Christ's love (agape love) for us. When read in its entirety, this passage is the essence of the marriage relationship and the church-Christ relationship - that mystery - that wonderful love affair of God and his creation.

mrnu.circlebuilder.com

Marriage Restoration Net Work Uganda

We request you always remember Marriage Restoration Network Uganda in your prayers as they minister God's love to the married coupls

The Gift Of Relationship

18 And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” 19 Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. 21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:18-24 28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:28

ABOUT MARRIAGE RESTORATION NETWORK UGANDA Praise God my brothers and sisters out their, more especially those who cherish the institution of marriage. Well come to Marriage Restoration Network Uganda. A ministry which is doing every thing possible in teaching the married couples to involve God in their marriage and base it on the principles of His word. Remember before other things like schools, governments and any other institution came to existence, God first instated marriage. In genesis chapter 3:8a says that God used to visit man in the cool of the day. Because God is all knowing, compassionate and loving, He said it is not good for man to be alone. Genesis 2:18 NIV but I will make a helper suitable for him. God in His all knowing power made a woman not man for Adam. Genesis 2:22 NIV. In genesis 2:18NIV, God is talking of making a suitable helper for Adam. The one who can suite his needs. Genesis 2:24 say that the only reason for a man to leave his father and mother is when he get married to a woman, and before her he can strip naked and not get ashamed. Verse 25. What was God’s plan in this? God made male and female in His Image and likeness for them to have dominion over every thing on the earth, to be fruitful, multiply and replenish the earth. Genesis 1:26-28KJV. And to get an offspring which fears the Lord. Malachi 2:15b. The scriptures say that after this, He saw every thing He made and behold it was not just good, but very good including marriage. Genesis 1:31kjv. Emphasis added. We saw in the word of God that He created man and woman in His Image and likeness to show the world who He is through marriage. God is love and love should be seen in marriage. God is compassionate, He expects us to have compassion towards your spouse. God is forgiving, and the world should see forgiveness in married couples more so if they are Christians. God is a provider and this should be seen in marriage. And many more you can think of concerning the Image of God and marriage. The scriptures say that God designed and created marriage as a good thing. It is beautiful, priceless gift. He uses marriage to help us eliminate loneliness, multiply effectiveness, establish families, raise children, enjoy life and bless us with relational intimacy. But beyond this, marriage also shows us our need to grow and deal with our own issues and self centeredness through the help of a life long partner. If we are teachable, we will learn to do the two most important things in marriage- that is to love and to respect another imperfect person unconditionally. It is difficult, but it is life changing. So from this background we see that God is so serious with marriage. Proverbs 18:22Niv says that “he who finds a wife finds what is good, and receives favor from the Lord”. The bible goes on to say that God hates divorce”. Malachi 2:15. So marriage is a serious matter in the eyes of the Lord. So let us return to God’s principles concerning marriage and put them into practice. Now if marriage was started by the Almighty Lord, why are we seeing many problems in marriage, why the violence in marriage? And why the many divorces we see every minute around the world? The word of God in Hosea 4:6kjv says “my people are destroyed for luck of knowledge. Not because there is no knowledge, not because there are no things to teach, but because they have rejected knowledge. Emphasis added. Since the fall of Adam, people think they know what is best for them and that they don’t need God and can do what pleases them, meaning that they are independent and don’t need help. This is a lie from Satan and it has caused a lot of misery in the world. See what the word of the Lord says in proverbs 3:5-7kjv. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6in all thy ways including marriage acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths. 7be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord and depart from evil”. Emphasis added. Romans 1:21-23 talks clearly of people who profess to know God, but don’t glorify Him, and think that they are wise but turns out to be that they are fools. Even go to the extent of exchanging the things God made to suite them. Remember marriage pictures God’s Image here on earth and it for His glory not to be exchanged. The bible teaches that marriage is for life, they teach that you can opt out whenever you fill like for this is you life. The bible teaches that marriage is a covenant, but they say marriage is a contract. The bible teaches that a man should marry a woman; they teach that you also have the right to marry your fellow man. So my dear brothers and sisters who love the Lord and cherish the institution of marriage, knowing that we are the salt and light of the world Mathew 5:13-16, and that God choose us for a purpose, in His kingdom 1peter 2:9-10, let us join hands with Marriage Restoration Network Uganda to uproot, tear down, destroy and overthrow all imaginations, strong holds, bad habits bad cultures which are against the word of God and hinder many of us to enjoy the marriage God intended for us. And build and plant better habits, behaviors and cultures based on God’s word that glorify His name. Let us encourage each other to mend our relationship with our creator, fellowship with Him knowing that marriage minus God have a lot of problems. Let us invite him to be our partner in our marriage. Come and help build the kingdom of God through marriage teachings. Be blessed of the Lord as you of this call. MARRIAGE RESTORATION NETWORK UGANDA. Marriage restoration network Uganda is a none denominational group of people who have the burden of restore ling marriage to live according to God’s word. They are married couples who go around the country to teach the married to allow God into their marriage. They believe that marriage is divine and that marriage was started by God. They also believe that marriage is between man and woman. They also believe that man should have one wife and no mistresses, and the woman should also have one husband. OBJECTIVES Marriage restoration network Uganda’s objective is to see married couple stay married, and to see that God is allowed in their marriage and to also allow Him to build their marriage. For the bible says that “unless God builds a house, those who build labor in vain in this case unless He builds your marriage, you only have straggles all the time. They want to see that those who intend to marry should know that marriage is for a life long commitment and not for a few years. And that marriage is a covenant and not a contract. They also want to see that the church teaches the married to realize this and offer them help. That is why the M.R.N.U. go around the country conducting marriage seminars, helping them renew their marriage vows and also help them realize that it is God’s will for them to stay married. M.R.N.U. is doing this for in this country, many men mistreat their wives, and some times kill them. Also a few of the women kill their husbands; there are a lot of divorces in this country and even in the church VISION: Restoring marriages to the original setting by God from the cultural setting. MISSION: To uproot, tear down, destroy and over throw every belief that stands against God’s plan for marriage, and to build and to plant God’s plan for marriage. (Jer. 1:10) PURPOSE: Marriage Restoration Network Uganda is a Christian ministry seeking to; Help couples around Uganda and the world over to restore, promote and strengthen their marriages as God intended. To build Christ centered homes/ marriages and maintain God’s design for marriage. To offer marriage seminars and related activities to address the most pressing challenges facing marriages, to help the married couples and their families grow in their relationships with each other, with God and the church in Uganda, Africa and the world. To combine Christian values and practical methods to improve communication between husband and wife. To teach couples to focus on each other freely from distraction of every day life through seminars, workshops, conferences and counseling programmers. To encourage and help the married examine their marriages and discuss feelings, joy, disappointments and hopes through daily dialogue. Marriage Restoration Network Uganda is for couples who value marriage between man and woman and would like a good marriage and wants to make it better. AIMS OF MARRIAGE RESTORATION NETWORK UGANDA (MARNU) To teach the couples to base their marriages on Biblical principles. To create the basic unit for Kingdom purpose. Mal. 2:15, Gen. 1:28. To teach the couples to love each other as quoted in Eph. 5:22-33. To promote and encourage the unwedded couples to have holy matrimony. To allow couples to renew their commitment to God, their spouses and families in a positive and personal manner by allowing couples to explore these new learned teachings in the privacy of their homes. To teach couples to practice openness and honesty between themselves. To teach couples to learn to spend quality time with each other, something lacking in most marriages today. To teach couples to take and understand a Biblical view point of “A man shall live his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.) Gen. 2:24. To teach the couples the skills to better their communication with each other therefore building a stronger union. To strengthen marriages by educating couples practical methods of communication and renewing their commitment to their marriages to ensure a decrease in divorce that God hates as written in Mal. 2:16. To build and maintain the momentum of marriage programmes as designed by God. So that is our mission and we request you to stand by us in prayers so that God can give us the strength, for breaking these cultural beliefs is very had. For most of them have been here for ages. Thing like when a brother dies, a brother takes over the widow, or if the brother had two, he can inherit all of them no matter what the brother died of. They also say that a man is the owner of the home and that the woman has no say in family matters. Some sell the family land and run away leaving the wife and children suffer leading some of the children run to the streets of the towns. That is the work we have here and we need your help in terms of teaching materials and if possible in future to come and teach in these seminars. Thanks and on behalf of M.R.N.U, I say be blessed as you work for the Almighty Lord and savior Jesus Christ. The people who coordinates the ministry. THE EXECUTIVE MEMBERS Pastor Moses Kerejji Leader Mrs. Ruth Kerejji Mr. Tom Mugoya finance Mrs. Frida Mugoya Mr. Godfrey Ouma Publicity Mrs. Sarah Ouma Mr. Festo Gooloba Testimony Coordinator Mrs. Margaret Gooloba Pastor Bukenya Jonathan Central Region Coordinator Mrs. Bukenya Teddy Pastor John Mafabi Western Region Coordinator Mrs. R. Mafabi Pastor Samuel Kato Eastern Region Coordinator Mrs. Mary Kato Elder Mike and Teddy Etwalu are prayer coordinators. Pastor Richard Masembe Northern Region Coordinator Mr. Roland and Mrs. Judith Biber in Canada International Coordinators M.R.N.U P.o.box 28777 Kampala Uganda.

Praise God my dear friends, Greetings in the mighty name of the most high God. May His blessing be upon you all! This week from Thursday 19th to 22nd we will be speaking in a married seminar in Bungoma Kenya. From 26th to 29 we will also be in Busitema. We request you stand with us in prayer that God’s will be done in these seminars, and that he grants us journey mercies and to those who will be attending. Psalm 127:1 So it is our prayer that all married couple should allow God to build the marriage with them. Remember the institution of marriage is under attack like never before. Pray for these pastors who will be traveling with me, that God will keep their family safe. Pastor Richard Masembe, pastor Jonathan Bukenya and pastor Samuel Kato. Be blessed as you pray with us and may the Lord be with you. Your friend in the Lord, Moses

THE SPIRITUAL, IMPLICATION FOF MARRIAGE: Similar to the way a human family reflects God’s plan to have a family, human marriage also reflects a spiritual relationship. Human marriage is modeled after the relationship between Jesus Christ and the church. Notice how Paul explains this concept. After discussing the responsibility, of husbands and wives and the relationship between them. Paul says: this is a great mystery, but I .speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you ,in particular so love his own wife as himself, and .let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:32-33). What beautiful example the relationship between Christ and the church is! Paul explains that Christ loved the church so much that He gave, his life her (verse 25). How could those of us in the church ever doubt his love for us? How could we not respond to the thing He asks us to do? The understanding that marriage between a man and woman is a type of the relationship between Christ and the church is further understood by a vision Jesus Christ revealed to john at the end of the first century. John recorded this vision in the last book of the Bible, the book of Revelation. After Jesus returns to take over the kingdoms of the earth and establish the kingdom of god, He reveals that his going to be involved in every special marriage. Here is how john recorded the vision “let us be glad and rejoice and give him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready”. And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine lien, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the Saints. Then he said to me, ‘blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the lamb!’(Revelation 19:7-9). The faithful saints who have been part of the church founded by Jesus Christ will become the Bride of Christ. Their righteous behavior is likened to fine, costly linen. Happy human marriage gives us insight into a greater marriage one that will truly last forever because both parties will be spirit, similar and closely related to family, marriage also gives us a window, of insight into God’s love and plan for humanity, Because human marriage are patterned after this spiritual relationship, they can help us comprehend this present and future God-plane relationship. Now family represent, we can more closely examine the instructions He gave for marriage.

How do you view your marriage? Do you think that marriage is holy? In your opinion, is marriage a contact or a covenant? And as you view your marriage relationship from this point on, we challenge you to consider it a covenant instead of a contract. These two words sound similar in meaning but are in reality much different. Seeing marriage as a contract is like saying to your spouse, “I take you for me and we’ll see if this works out.” But realizing it as a covenant changes it to say, “I give myself to you and commit to this marriage for life.” There are many other differences between covenant and contracts. A contract is usually a written agreement based on distrust, outlining the conditions and consequences if broken. A contract is a verbal commitment based on trust, assuring someone that your promise is unconditional and good for life. It is spoken before God out of love for another. A contract is self-serving and comes with limited liability. It establishes a time frame for certain deliverable to be met and accomplished. A covenant is for the benefit of others and comes with unlimited responsibility. It has no expiration date. It is “till death do us part.” A contract can be broken with mutual consent. A covenant is intended to be unbreakable. The Bible contains several major covenants as part of the unfolding story of God’s people. God made a covenant with Noah, promising never to destroy all flesh with a worldwide flood (Genesis 9:12-17). He made a covenant with Abraham, promising that an entire nation of descendants would come from his family line (Genesis 17:1-8). He made a covenant with Moses, declaring that the people of Israel would be God’s permanent possession (Exodus 19:3-6). He made a covenant with David, promising that a ruler would sit on his throne forever (2 Samuel 7:7-16). Ultimately, He made a “new covenant” by the blood of Christ, establishing an unending life for those who believe in Him (Hebrews 9:15). Never once has God broken any of these covenants. And then there’s marriage—the strongest covenant on earth between two people, the pledge of a man and a woman to establish a love that is unconditional and lasts a lifetime. In marriage, your wedding ring represents your covenant vows—not merely commitments you hoped o keep but premeditated promises, publicly spoken and witnessed by others. As you’ve read numerous times in these pages, keeping this covenant is not something you can do in your own strength. There’s good reason why God was the One who initiated covenants with his people. He alone is able to fulfill the demands of His own promises. He alone is able to forgive the receivers of His covenant when they fail to uphold their part of the agreement. But the Spirit of God is within you by virtue of your faith in His Son and the grace bestowed upon you in salvation. That means you can exercise your role as covenant keeper, no matter what may arise to challenge your faithfulness to it. Especially if your spouse is not in a place of receiving your love right now, the act of covenant keeping can grow more daunting with each passing day. But marriage is not a contract with escape clauses and exception wordings. Marriage is a covenant intended to cut off all avenues of retreat or withdrawal. There’s nothing in all the world that should sever what God has joined together. Your love is based on covenant. Hundreds of years after the prophet Malachi recorded these words, people are still wondering why God withholds His hand of blessing at times from their homes and marriages. “’You say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant….for I hate divorce, says the lord, the God, the God of Israel, and him who covers his garment with wrong, says the lord of hosts. So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously “Malachi 2:14:16”. Every marriage is called to be an earthly picture of God’s heavenly covenant with his church. It is to reveal to the world, the glory and beauty of God’s unconditional love for us. Jesus says “as father as loved me, so have I loved him. Now remaining my love” (john 15:9NIV) let his words inspire you to be a channel of God’s love to your spouse. The time is now, man or woman of God, to renew your covenant of love in all sincerity and surrender. Love is too holy a treasure trade in for another, and too powerful abound to be broken without dire consequences. First in your love afresh on t his one, the lord has given you to cherish, prize and honor. Your life together is before your. Dire to take of it and never let go We pray that you allow God to help you fulfill your part of the covenant