OVERCOMING TEMPTATION THAT CAN DESTROY A MARRIAGE

Overcoming temptations that can destroy a marriage. Marriage is being attacked right and left by the devil with his lies. Many couples seem to have fallen prey to his schemes by believing whatever lies he tells them. For the marriage institution to stand married couple must do one thing and that is waking up and fight him. James 4:7 King James Version (KJV) 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. If married couples can resist the devil, it will hard for the marriage to break. In our work with couples we see a fairly equal number of men and women who yield to temptation and throw their marriage and all that they once held dear in jeopardy. We are no strangers to the perils of yielding to temptation or its consequences. That’s why we work so diligently to urge you not to take your marriage for granted, but to proactively BUILD your marriage. One of the key motivators that make temptation of any kind so appealing is a sense of entitlement. Satan used this tactic in the Garden of Eden with Eve when he appealed to her “right” to eat the fruit that God denied. “God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” (Genesis 3:5) He implied that she was entitled to know good and evil and God was holding out on her. Satan used the same appeal with Jesus. “IF you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread.” (Luke 4:3) In other words, Jesus was entitled to have bread and enjoy it after forty days of not eating anything. The devil isn’t creative in his approach. He does the same with us today. • “Your spouse has been holding out on you. You’re entitled to some porn—you need the sexual release. At least you aren't with someone else.” • “Your spouse hasn’t been loving or kind, have they? They’re always angry. You deserve to be in a casual relationship where you can be affirmed and hugged.” • “Your loneliness is going to suffocate you. Having a close friend of the opposite sex will help you endure your marriage.” • “Your spouse doesn’t even know you or understand you. You need someone who is really a soul-mate.” Men and women, these are all lies from the enemy. He wants to divert you from God’s plan by holding out an appealing deception. His desire is to destroy your marriage and neutralize your effectiveness for Christ—as well as your legacy you are building for your children. Think of it this way: if Satan is working to draw you away from your spouse, then you need to fight all the harder to draw NEAR to your spouse and to Jesus. If you have been yielding to temptation, don’t rationalize or try to figure out a “good timing” to stop, there isn’t one. Stop now. End the porn/relationship/flirting immediately and leave the other person in God’s hands. You belong to Jesus and your spouse only. When the temptation comes roaring back into your mind, maybe all you can do is say the name of Jesus out loud over and over until there is release and victory. God’s promise is true: “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” As you do, you will experience God’s peace and blessing in your life and you will be taking proactive steps to build Your Marriage. Let us not succumb to Stan’s lies but always be alert to his tricks.

Marriage Principles That Make a Happy Marriage.

Marriage principles that make a happy Marriage. As the world is against the marriage institution, I thought it fit to talk about some of the principle that can make our marriage happy. Most of the time we see spouses finger pointing at each other but it take both couples to fail a marriage. Let us study together a few principles from the word of God about how we can live to enjoy our marriage for life. After God created everything, He noticed that one thing was not right. He saw that the man He created {Adam} was always not happy. So God in His great knowledge came up with a great idea, which was Marriage. Like a manufacturer, God also made a manual for what he has made marriage. Let us look at a few of the marriage principles in the word of God. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Ephesians 5:31) Do not allow relationships with parents to become too important. A common problem is to “complain” to a parent when we are not happy with a spouse. Some parents are always hearing negative things about their son-in-law or daughter-in-law. These kinds of things can accumulate in the hearts of parents and create resentment toward their child’s spouse. Other spouses go to their parents every time there is a problem to be solved. While it is true that parents can offer great wisdom, our first strategy should always be to pray things through and talk things over thoroughly with our spouse. Then, with his/her agreement, we may wish to discuss things with our parents. Obviously, we should do everything we can to strengthen the relationship between our parents and our spouse. These passages point out the extremely important Biblical principle that a married couple are not really "two," they are "one." When we see ourselves as a unit instead of two individuals, we will be able to experience the joy and excitement that God means marriage to be. Conflicts in marriage are inevitable. We are all still battling "the world, the flesh, and the devil." But when conflicts arise they should serve to remind us that, for the moment, we have ceased to realize we are one! When we realize that we are one, we will put everything we have into pleasing each other, encouraging each other, helping each other, standing by each other, and, in general, simply loving each other. We have one purpose. We have one goal. We have one life together. We are one. “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14) Both husband and wife must be Christians. This verse is the reason we strongly discourage even dating between believers and unbelievers. Once the dating process has started, it is too easy for our emotions to overwhelm our wisdom and strength and lead us to a bad decision. If a man or woman is unwilling to trust Christ before getting into a serious emotional relationship with a Christian, he or she will be unlikely to trust Christ after the relationship has gotten serious. Most young people have a difficult time understanding how difficult it is to have a strong marriage or how difficult it is to agree on what’s best for children later on in the marriage when one of the spouses is a non-Christian. “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:22-24) A marriage can only thrive when the wife defers to the husband. A selfish, self-centered, demanding wife can destroy a marriage. But notice that the husband is NOT given the responsibility to try to MAKE his wife submit! It is between her and the Lord. Ideally, the husband will be so loving and obviously dedicated to his wife’s well being that she will find it a joy to defer to him. Certainly, even if the husband has lots of spiritual growing to do, he is more likely to experience that growth when his wife maintains a submissive spirit. Normally, a husband and wife can come to agreement by graciously and honestly discussing their differences. In those rare times when an impasse is reached, the wife should make it her determination to defer to her husband. A wife who rejects this principle is in danger of destroying her marriage. An angry, selfish, demanding, rebellious wife can result in the death of a marriage even without legal divorce papers. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,” (Ephesians 5: 25-29) A selfish, self-centered, demanding husband can also destroy a marriage. When a husband convinces his wife that he loves her with an unconditional, selfless kind of love, it makes it very easy for her to defer to his leadership. Jesus sacrificed Himself for His bride, the church. Husbands are to love their wives with that same kind of self-sacrificial love. This means more than just being willing to die for our wives. It means sacrificing things, day-by-day, that we might prefer to do but that would not be in the best interest of our wives. Of course, just because a husband loves his wife, doesn’t guarantee that his wife will always quickly reciprocate. Remember the analogy of Christ and the church. Jesus is always loving. But sometimes those whom He loves do not respond with a submissive deference to Him like we should. He just keeps on loving us. “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” (1 Peter 3:1-2) Men are rarely persuaded to do anything with a good attitude when they feel “nagged” into it. Wives should be sensitive to those times when “discussion” begins to sound like “nagging” from the husband’s perspective. Most men will quickly “crumble” and desperately try to please his wife when she behaves in a gracious, submissive, and wise fashion! “Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.” (1 Peter 3:3-6) Most husbands appreciate wives who take care of their appearance and look their best. Most also appreciate wives who dress modestly and not in ways that tend to “entice” other men. But, as this passage points out, the kind of woman his wife is in her heart—that “gentle and quiet spirit”—is far more “precious in the sight of God” as well as in the sight of her husband. “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7) As husbands, we need to get all the knowledge and understanding we can of our wives. This would include studying carefully what others have learned about the natures and differences between men and women and how those differences affect our marriages. Husbands must realize that wives are more easily hurt—and make decisions in light of that understanding. When we do realize that we have said or done something that has hurt our wives, we must be humble enough to admit our wrong and ask for forgiveness. Husbands must learn to “honor” their wives. Each husband can discuss with his wife the kinds of things he might do to help her feel honored. It’s also interesting that God warns us here that He is so serious about our being wise husbands, that if we ignore Him at this point, it will definitely mess up our fellowship with Him! At that point, God is saying, in effect, “First, you go do everything in your power to get things right with your wife. Then you come and talk with Me!” “The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.” (1 Corinthians 7:4) This verse implies that both spouses must discuss and agree with each other about sexual issues. She belongs to him. BUT he belongs to her! The husband and wife must see this as an opportunity to understand each other, learn to be giving and generous to each other, and learn to be patient with each other. If one spouse (either one!) behaves selfishly in this area, there will be massive problems in the marriage. We recommend that you find a good Christian book that goes into detail about the sexual issues in marriage and read and discuss it together. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6) “’For I hate divorce,’ says the Lord” (Malachi 2:15-16) Some people argue that divorce is not real or possible. But it certainly is real and possible. Otherwise God would have not told us not to do it! He would have said, “Man CANNOT separate” instead of “let no man separate.” It takes TWO people, with the grace and help of God, to make a marriage succeed. It only takes ONE person to destroy it. Of course, many marriages end in divorce because one spouse (often both spouses) begins to behave with such intense selfishness and self-centeredness that he or she emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and perhaps even physically “leaves” his or her spouse, destroying the covenant. But God has built us in such as way that divorce is always far more painful than we can imagine. Two people who had once become one, are now being ripped apart. Of course, it is not just the obtaining of legal papers of divorcement that rips them apart; it is the sin that has been tearing apart the marriage—sometimes for years—on the part of one, or perhaps both, of the spouses. But the point is that since God hates divorce, and since divorce causes so much pain to so many people, a couple must commit to doing everything in their power to make sure it doesn’t happen. One person cannot do it alone. This is far more than just saying, “No matter what, we won’t get a divorce.” It means living in such a way and behaving in such a way with each other that divorce becomes unthinkable! Sadly, many couples experience “divorce” even though they remain legally married. And remember, it is not enough for one spouse to commit to make the marriage work. It takes two—with the Lord at the center. Preventing divorce is far more than a commitment not to do it. It is the result of a godly husband and a godly wife living with each other day in and day out according to the wisdom and commands of the Lord.

LET US THINK OF EASTER WITH CLEAR MINDS.

Friends, I request that after celebrating Easter you stop to think of the events that took place that day. Think of the women who came early at his grave in comparison with the account on the road to Emmaus. Luke 24:1-7 King James Version (KJV) 24 Now upon the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they came unto the sepulchre, bringing the spices which they had prepared, and certain others with them. 2 And they found the stone rolled away from the sepulchre. 3 And they entered in, and found not the body of the Lord Jesus. 4 And it came to pass, as they were much perplexed thereabout, behold, two men stood by them in shining garments: 5 And as they were afraid, and bowed down their faces to the earth, they said unto them, Why seek ye the living among the dead? 6 He is not here, but is risen: remember how he spake unto you when he was yet in Galilee, 7 Saying, The Son of man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again. Most of us Christians are always hearing the word of God but most of the times we don’t perceive it and when certain situations arise we act like we have never heard the word of God. See the affection and respect the women showed to Christ, after he was dead and buried. Observe their surprise when they found the stone rolled away, and the grave empty. Christians often perplex themselves about that with which they should be comfort and encourage themselves. They look rather to find their Master in his grave-clothes, than angels in their shining garments. The angels assure them that he is risen from the dead; is risen by his own power. These angels from heaven did not bring any new gospel, but reminded the women of Christ's words, and teach them how to apply them. Luke 24:13-27 {KJV} 13 And, behold, two of them went that same day to a village called Emmaus, which was from Jerusalem about threescore furlongs. 14 And they talked together of all these things which had happened. 15 And it came to pass, that, while they communed together and reasoned, Jesus himself drew near, and went with them. 16 But their eyes were holden that they should not know him. 17 And he said unto them, What manner of communications are these that ye have one to another, as ye walk, and are sad? 18 And the one of them, whose name was Cleopas, answering said unto him, Art thou only a stranger in Jerusalem, and hast not known the things which are come to pass there in these days? 19 And he said unto them, What things? And they said unto him, Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, which was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people: 20 And how the chief priests and our rulers delivered him to be condemned to death, and have crucified him. 21 But we trusted that it had been he which should have redeemed Israel: and beside all this, to day is the third day since these things were done. 22 Yea, and certain women also of our company made us astonished, which were early at the sepulchre; 23 And when they found not his body, they came, saying, that they had also seen a vision of angels, which said that he was alive. 24 And certain of them which were with us went to the sepulchre, and found it even so as the women had said: but him they saw not. 25 Then he said unto them, O fools, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken: 26 Ought not Christ to have suffered these things, and to enter into his glory? 27 And beginning at Moses and all the prophets, he expounded unto them in all the scriptures the things concerning himself. We may wonder that these disciples, who believed Jesus to be the Son of God and the true Messiah, who had been so often told that he must die, and rise again, and then enter into his glory, who had seen him more than once raise the dead, yet should be so backward to believe his raising himself. But all our mistakes in our faith spring from ignorance or forgetfulness of the words Christ has spoken. There are many things puzzling and perplexing to us, which would be plain and profitable, if we rightly understood the words of Christ. May the Lord bless you as you take time to reflect on the event which took place on the day of resurrection in relationship to our faith. I wish you the best, Your brother in the Lord, Moses.