Dealing With Anger In Marriage.

Dealing with anger in Marriage. Marriage is hard work and if we want to have joy and peace in our marriages, then we need to work at it very hard every day. Like any type of work if you do not put in energy, then you will never get results. The bible says in Song of Songs 2:15 that “Take us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines: for our vines [have] tender grapes.” Now one of the areas in marriage where the couples need to work on is taking this fox called anger. Anger has destroys marriage if not dealt with. Each of us we are prone to sin if we do not handle anger well. The bible says in Ephesians 4:26 that “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:” The longer we stay in anger, the easier for us to sin. Paul goes on to say in verse 27 that “Neither give place to the devil.” The more you stay angry you are giving satan the opportunity to harm your marriage. As we work with couples and families, we’ve observed that anger has many tragic consequences in a marriage or family. Let’s look at three of the most deadly. 1. Anger creates distance Anger almost always creates an unhealthy distance. In Jerry’s family his three daughters were slowly showing that they don’t feel safe around him. If you are married to an angry man or woman, he or she will try to create distance between you. You may want to get close, but the offended one will pull away. Angry people refuse closeness. 2. Anger pushes us into misery Unresolved anger can rip away our perspective and throw us into chaos. We don’t know where we are going. We can’t think logically. We don’t realize that we are doing to ourselves, and those we love. As we blindly lurch and stumble, our families become candidates for serious, possibly permanent, injuries of the heart. We’ve talked to so many people who, after years of going to church and counseling, have still not found peace. After hearing their story, the major reason for their failure is deep-seated anger. They are unwilling to forgive or seek forgiveness, and as a result, they hide secret caches of darkness in their lives-little toxic waste dumps seeping bitterness, gradually poisoning their home. 3. Anger ties us in knots Like few other emotions, anger restricts and binds us, tying us in internal knots. Forgiveness, on the other hand sets us free from those bonds, untying the knots that hold us captive. Much like rope tied around our feet or hands, anger hinders and hampers us. Children who grow up embittered and angry are handcuffed and hobbled, prevented from discovering their potential. Here are five attitudes to unite a person’s anger knots 1) Become soft and tender with the person. 2) Understand, as much as possible, what the other person has endured. 3) Admit the person has been wounded, and be sure to admit any wrong in provoking that hurt. 4) Seek forgiveness-and gently wait for a response. 5) Touch the person gently. Finally, always make sure your words are seasoned with love. Colossians 4:6 Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. Strong married couples will always take the word of God seriously and love you read these few scriptures whenever you feel angry. Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Ephesians 4:29-32 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. 30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Colossians 3:10-17 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; 13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also [do] ye. 14 And above all these things [put on] charity, which is the bond of perfectness. 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, [do] all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. Have this fox called anger be arrested and you enjoy your marriage.